date night

I'm writing this while on a Northwest Air Flight to Detroit, Michigan. There is no internet and no electrical outlet to plug in your laptop. I'm wasn't expecting an AC outlet like Virgin. I thought maybe one of those cigarette lighter type outlets. No such luck. I anticipated as much from Northwest Air. I came with two fully charged batteries. I could go on about the lameness of this airline but this is not the topic of this posting. I just needed a brief opening rant

I don't post personal stuff that often and never twice in a row but this plane trip made me want to write something life affirming.

When I got married my sister, Joanne, passed on some words of wisdom someone had given to her. Make sure you have a date alone with your spouse once a week. Joanne to this day follows this and so do I. Dana and I also make sure we go away alone a few times a year. Dana does all the planning and I just show up. Truth is Dana does just about everything and I show up.

The getaway doesn't have to be fancy or far. It doesn't even have to be more than two nights. The only precondition is it has to be alone. No kids. No work. No distractions. This weekend we went away for one night. It felt like a month. Always does. We caught up on sleep. Had a chance to read. Caught up with one another. We actually had an entire conversations without interruption. We did it all and had a great meal to boot.

I'm not one to give marital advice but I'm going to do it anyway. The easiest thing in the world to do is neglect your relationship. For some reason all other responsibilities seem to take precedence. Your kids. Your job. Your blog. Your dog. It's so easy to fall into a pattern to be attentive to things that matter less and take for granted the thing that matters the most.

As I see it nothing works unless our marriage does. If that goes wrong everything else follows. Setting aside time once a week and escaping twice a year keeps us connected.

I know this may not work for everyone but it sure does for me. After spending one night alone with Dana, I can even enjoy a cramped, net-less and powerless late flight to Detroit. It's only a 24 hour jaunt and it only just begun but I can hardly wait to get home.